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Submitted on
January 20, 2008
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Bad news, captain. by lancea Bad news, captain. by lancea
Is it just me, or do the mechanics on every single starship in cinema history say the exact same lines?

"No, we can't accelerate to lightspeed, sir, the Hyperspaceplaxoric turbines are damaged!", "No can do, chief, the superquantumdrive took a beating, the entire ship can explode!", or "Commander, the reactor suffered during the last attack, we can't shift to ubermadeupspeed!", etc. Come on, a little diversity here, they can't all be reusing spare Scotty lines from the old startrek series (you know, the one with Shatner).

And anyways, even though the Hyper-super-whatever-speed simply cannot be initiated, because the Nano-fusion-fuck-me-engine is completely and utterly devastated, at the very last second before the ship's destruction the mechanic curses, hits something with a wrench, the reactor starts up and they escape safely.

I'm watching Farscape earlier today, and they have the exact conversation:

Crichton: "Blah, blah, blah, Pilot, we must starjump!"

Pilot: "We cannot. The ship has informed me that blah, blah, blah"

Crichton: "Blah, blah, either we starjump now, or we're toast, so blah, blah with the blah, blah and blah blah us up!"

Pilot: "The blah, blah cannot endure another blah, blah, blah"

Aeryn: "I've got an idea, we must blah, blah, blah with the blah, blah"

Tall, red guy who's name I can't spell: "We don't have time for your childish peacekeeper blah, blah, blah, this makes me uncharacteristically angry and I feel the need to hit something" *hits something, ship starts working*

Crichton: "Blah, blah, humorous comment, blah, blah" *they escape*

And even though I don't watch Andromeda nor Galactica, I've bumped into the same situations on both.

Sort of makes you believe the only abilities really required to repair virtually every type of spaceship are stubbornness, a foul mouth and the occasional wrench, doesn't it.

(seriously now, are you still reading this? XD)

Anyways. This was in part inspired by [link] although, despite best efforts, I didn't really manage to give the twilek a more rotund figure, as was intended. Years of watching borderline anorexic superheroines seems to have permanently affected my style. Something to work on, I suppose.

Alright, enough already.

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peterdevos Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2011
i reallylove it
and your nano fusion fuck me engine as well lol
i laughed my ass off
korblborp Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2011
is homage, i beleive.. also, a reference to the fact that hitting things actually seems to work a lot of the time..
Lweeling Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It reminds me a party of Star Wars, the hyperdrive was done! :D
LoneStranger Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
I realize I'm late to this party but hopefully it would help if I told you I created a mechanic character for a Star Wars RPG that wouldn't do the usual lines.

Captain: We need to jump to lightspeed.
My character: Can't do it.
Captain: Why not? We're in trouble here.
My character: Because you broke the ship is why, gimme a minute and stop rockin the boat.

Yeah, that's the kind of things he'd say. ;)
Lithaladhwen Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2008
Ha! Love it!
Mythical-Mommy Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2008   General Artist
This is such a wonderful idea. Usually when I see a female Twi'lek she's in an action or sexy pose. I love that you've displayed this one differently. She's still great on the eyes and sexy, but you've made her more "human."
lancea Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2008
Oh, agreed.

I mean, how many twilek dancers can there be? Logically, for every ten entertainers/escorts/strippers/whatever there has to be at least a few of them with occupations that don't have nudity in them, right? :D

starrypawz Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
I love this. It's really well drawn, and it's well set up.
SilSolo Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2008
I agree. the setup's very original indeed
mMathab Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2008
Very original set-up
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